Uncontrolled Emotions

Tuesday, April 01, 2008
Current mood: depressed

So I’m sad again, this time for no apparent reason. But inside I feel so empty and lonley. I try as hard as I can not to be depressed but everywhere I go and everything I do I always get up set out of no where. I honestly have to ask myself what is wrong with me? I feel like crying and disappearing. I have friends that are very good to me and I appreciate that dearly. Why are these ..led emotions taking over my life. No matter what I do, I can never stay happy. I do my hobbies as usual and laugh every now and then. But yet and still there is an undiscovered emontion in my soul. It’ will not allow me to be happy for long periods of time. As the days go by I wonder more and more about death every single day wondering what would it be like if i died. I need help really bad and I know no one will help me unless I help my self. Even though I am "me" I don’t understsand my self in why I feel like this all the time. I have all ready commited mental suicide and refuse to do the real thing. Becasue I believe that I am alive for a reason but on the inside I am all ready dead. I know that actually being dead wont solve my depression. What do I do?