Struggles..........

Monday, December 10, 2007
Current mood: anxious

You know this time I am writing an unexpected blog. This blog has been about everything that is happening to me or that has happend to me over these past few months I have dealed with so much. As as I am going a serious of fuck-ups has happend. I have thought about so much over this short period time.
First of all after graduating from high school I knew that this was it. I knew from that point in time things are going to change for me and that I knew it's time to start thinking about my future. Over this past summer I have had a great deal if fun and depression. Also I have lefted my self with alot of unfinished business with people and other things. I also knew that I would miss my firends very much. Especailly my best friend and those who I am close too espcailly those of you who I have only known for such a short amount of time.
Second my phase of weather or not I was ready to go to college or just go period. I was depressed over some time with an un certain decsison. But I decided to go anyway. But there are a few reasons that motivated me to go after all. And those reasons were,
1) With the help and advice of a few special family members and a special friend.
2) With my will to become better than my parents.
3) To be the best person that I can be.
I am truly glad that I went. But the problem is that I have had an infinate amount of problems ever since I been here. Problems and fuck-ups are still happening. But I am making it my goal next semester not to get this un organized not only that but putting more motivation and disipline amoungst my self. I do have to say that I am ashamed of my self and my faults. One thing I will tell you though is that all my life I have been under some type of stuggle but find away out. For this one I wont just find a way out. But make a way out. I am turly sorry to everyone and myself. But it is not an excuse to become a weak person!
As for right now I don't have a dream. But I do have the power to be anything I can or will be. I know that one day I will grow up to become a fine woman. Not just to soceity but to myself and those who are counting on me. Please understand that I am one who is often misunderstood about they way I think. But the one thing you can under stand is my heart.
I just wanted to let everyone know that I love them and that I thought that I should let everyone know what has been going on with me in life. Please understand that I am there for you when you need me. Please take care of your selves and follow your dreams.
Dont worry I wont let you down!
I love you all!
yours truly,
Lady/Miss Rhiana Eronique Wilson