February 24, 2011 at 12:09am
Here marks my 100th online posting. I never thought I could reach such a number but I finally did it! I am happy that I got to share my feelings,and thoughts to the world. To a friend or to a stranger it didn't matter they always supported me. Blogs, poems, and stories. Work that has been published by me over the years. I am so happy to finally reach my goal. In the happiest and darkest of times you still were there and listend to what say. I helped some of you understand me better as a person and revelived to you a side that some thought may have never exsisted. I love the may I think and you may not agree with everything I have to say. That's okay. I still got out the message I wanted to give. I thank each and everyone of you for the feeback and support. I may not have the best english skills, I'm glad that some of you were able to get pass that connect with my word. I may not be the worlds greatest poet or writing. I'm glad I have the worlds best supporters.
My life has been full of many ups and downs. I learn that hiding the truth doesn't get you very far. I have also learned that saying too much can drive some way. But I know that letting people know your story inspires them to open up with theirs. My job isn't to prove to you that I exsist all I want is for you to understand. They may be my 100th online posting but I have wirtten more than 100 things. But those things were on paper and got lost. I believe that thinking is so important. I love those who ask questions and go beyond borders. These 100 blogs tell some of the history, my evolutoion. Blogging is not an everyday habbit for me. I know I can just write about each and everyday I choose to write about those that are special. My blogs are full of so much emotion.
This inspires me to keep wrting. I hope I have enough peoms to publish my own book. Not out for the money. I'm in for the craft, I believe and sharing my heart with the world. I dont have a fan base in the thousands. I am not famous or do desire to be. I am Rhi thats what they call me. As long as my message gets out to those who care. It makes me happy. Writing is what takes me to my paradise of thought. I love sharing what I feel to the world. I love you all for being the rockstars you are. You supported this woman with a big glowing heart. I am the heart that is unexplained.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
"Love and Truth" "Truth and love"
February 23, 2011 at 12:05am
Love and Truth
Such powerful words
The words that always pain
The worlds cause one to be insane
Makes you do things you never wish
You ask over and over
Why me
Why do such powerful words have to exsist in my vocabulary
The words that make and break history
The truth hurts and I love you
Always so easy to say
Its the truth and my love for you very little to say
So easy and not it what tells a story to so many
Why the truth and why the love
Why should any apply?
I love to hear the truth
And it is the truth that I want to be loved
How confusing the two are in a snigle statment
Why can't I just love the truth
Why can the truth show the world that I am full of love?
Oh truth and love
Those bloody words
But words can never hurt me?
The happy, pain, the frustiaion and confusion
What is the turth behind love
And what is the love behind the truth
They say the truth shall set you free
And that love was a word that was invented by god
But yet and still its drives you crazy
oh how I feel the tention
I rise in a world as mysterious as it as
All I see is cloudy emotions
How I learn to love the truth even it brings me pain
How it the truth that let me learn love
It is Its what it is.
Love and Truth
Such powerful words
The words that always pain
The worlds cause one to be insane
Makes you do things you never wish
You ask over and over
Why me
Why do such powerful words have to exsist in my vocabulary
The words that make and break history
The truth hurts and I love you
Always so easy to say
Its the truth and my love for you very little to say
So easy and not it what tells a story to so many
Why the truth and why the love
Why should any apply?
I love to hear the truth
And it is the truth that I want to be loved
How confusing the two are in a snigle statment
Why can't I just love the truth
Why can the truth show the world that I am full of love?
Oh truth and love
Those bloody words
But words can never hurt me?
The happy, pain, the frustiaion and confusion
What is the turth behind love
And what is the love behind the truth
They say the truth shall set you free
And that love was a word that was invented by god
But yet and still its drives you crazy
oh how I feel the tention
I rise in a world as mysterious as it as
All I see is cloudy emotions
How I learn to love the truth even it brings me pain
How it the truth that let me learn love
It is Its what it is.
I love you and hate you.
February 19, 2011 at 8:02am
I would rather have you hate me than love me
I only chose to love you, I have no choice
Why oh why do you desire me?
I why am I the item of your affection?
Why do you walk around with so much pride
But inside I want you to rot and die
If I told the truth, I know you would lie
Why me and no one else
Why the pain the casued me?
I love you and I hate you
But don't understand you
I am strong enough now to fight you and say no
With many they will never know
I carry this secret to my grave
I try to love you I really do
I can never have my full heart to you
I love some of what your created
What you have done to me will always make hate it
Im scared of destorying whats bearly stable
I try to put it behind and see what I can find
I see you, I try to block it out
I am away and it keeps coming back
How can I?
How can I recover from this pain?
At the time I didn't know it can drive me insane
I will never have your curse
and that I am glad
I love you and hate you
It will always be sad.
I would rather have you hate me than love me
I only chose to love you, I have no choice
Why oh why do you desire me?
I why am I the item of your affection?
Why do you walk around with so much pride
But inside I want you to rot and die
If I told the truth, I know you would lie
Why me and no one else
Why the pain the casued me?
I love you and I hate you
But don't understand you
I am strong enough now to fight you and say no
With many they will never know
I carry this secret to my grave
I try to love you I really do
I can never have my full heart to you
I love some of what your created
What you have done to me will always make hate it
Im scared of destorying whats bearly stable
I try to put it behind and see what I can find
I see you, I try to block it out
I am away and it keeps coming back
How can I?
How can I recover from this pain?
At the time I didn't know it can drive me insane
I will never have your curse
and that I am glad
I love you and hate you
It will always be sad.
Oh lady
February 13, 2011 at 3:52am
Lady oh Lady
Why are you so mean
What did I ever do for you to reflect such pain?
I see your insecurities and your flaws
You act as if no problem is within
Lady I see we share the same desires
I think you have priories confused with concerns
Why are you in the shadows
Oh lady oh lady you are older than I
You say your wise and I know you lie
You keep going with pre written fiction
Oh lady of lady
When I challenge you
So suddenly become more superior
I can knock you down as if you were the worlds tallest building
You pretend your then empire when you truly are the el cortez
Oh lady of lady
Why a mask
A mask of shame
and a mask of blame?
Why the shame when you are one to blame
The shame is within your confused soul
Oh lady oh lady
I worry about your history
You claim to keep it real
and the real seems hidden
Why would the world judge the real
If the truth is that one that is suppose to set you free
Oh lady I am confused
Why do you envy those around you
When those have close to nothing
Are you unhappy with your current state?
Oh lady please spare me with an answer.
Lady oh Lady
Why are you so mean
What did I ever do for you to reflect such pain?
I see your insecurities and your flaws
You act as if no problem is within
Lady I see we share the same desires
I think you have priories confused with concerns
Why are you in the shadows
Oh lady oh lady you are older than I
You say your wise and I know you lie
You keep going with pre written fiction
Oh lady of lady
When I challenge you
So suddenly become more superior
I can knock you down as if you were the worlds tallest building
You pretend your then empire when you truly are the el cortez
Oh lady of lady
Why a mask
A mask of shame
and a mask of blame?
Why the shame when you are one to blame
The shame is within your confused soul
Oh lady oh lady
I worry about your history
You claim to keep it real
and the real seems hidden
Why would the world judge the real
If the truth is that one that is suppose to set you free
Oh lady I am confused
Why do you envy those around you
When those have close to nothing
Are you unhappy with your current state?
Oh lady please spare me with an answer.
Loves fate
Sunday, February 13, 2011 at 3:39am
He loves me
He loves me
He loves me not
If only the fate of love were decide by a petal of a flower
If only the fate of love were decided by your decision
If only love is a simple as it sounds
If only love weren't so complicated
I feel I feel with all my heart
I try I try to get his affection
I need I need to answer this question
I live I live the ultimate risk
I hate I hate taking the ultimate risk
I find I find nothing but strangers
I get and get nothing but problems
I fight I fight for his affection
I'm sure and unsure of loves fates
I can't I can't solve loves problem
I hope I hope I find loves loves solution
I am I am loves problem
He loves me
He loves me
He loves me not
If only the fate of love were decide by a petal of a flower
If only the fate of love were decided by your decision
If only love is a simple as it sounds
If only love weren't so complicated
I feel I feel with all my heart
I try I try to get his affection
I need I need to answer this question
I live I live the ultimate risk
I hate I hate taking the ultimate risk
I find I find nothing but strangers
I get and get nothing but problems
I fight I fight for his affection
I'm sure and unsure of loves fates
I can't I can't solve loves problem
I hope I hope I find loves loves solution
I am I am loves problem
The road of my life.
February 13, 2011 at 3:30am
Walking down and endless road
An endless road of feelings
I road full of pot holes and cracks
I always seem to be pulling over
With each stop tells a differnt story
A story full of msyteries
Happy, angry, sad and depressed
You can never leave the stop with out a memory
A memory that is nothing
Or a memory that is life changing
There always is a stop and the road seems endless
A one way street that seems to long
A one way road full of history and pain
You can only fix a flat so many times
You can never be in it's original state
Cars, people, plants, and animals
All of nature seems to be on the same road
Not everyone is trying to reach the same destination
It's so sad leaving wreckage behind
So many people only survive a wreck
A sunny day, A winter storm
So much life on this busy road
Never any traffic or a set speed limit
The best road you can ever take a cruse
That brings you the greatest of attractions
This famous road is not route 66
This famous road is the road of life
My life in the fast lane
Limits and laws never apply
My road, My road
My road of life.
Walking down and endless road
An endless road of feelings
I road full of pot holes and cracks
I always seem to be pulling over
With each stop tells a differnt story
A story full of msyteries
Happy, angry, sad and depressed
You can never leave the stop with out a memory
A memory that is nothing
Or a memory that is life changing
There always is a stop and the road seems endless
A one way street that seems to long
A one way road full of history and pain
You can only fix a flat so many times
You can never be in it's original state
Cars, people, plants, and animals
All of nature seems to be on the same road
Not everyone is trying to reach the same destination
It's so sad leaving wreckage behind
So many people only survive a wreck
A sunny day, A winter storm
So much life on this busy road
Never any traffic or a set speed limit
The best road you can ever take a cruse
That brings you the greatest of attractions
This famous road is not route 66
This famous road is the road of life
My life in the fast lane
Limits and laws never apply
My road, My road
My road of life.
Recap of 2010
January 21, 2011 at 1:18am
I know this is late but here goes the list.
I went to disneyland
Drove to anihiem
Went to Comic-Con
Started the Keep comic con in san diego page
Been interviewd with new stations
Met someone from wescoin
Did an actual cosplay
Got into my 2 favorite pannels
Went to ventura beach
Been to a Train grave yeard
Discoverd and listened to pleasure principle by janet jackson many times
Sent a love note
Driven to hollywood
Went to africa week
Been drunk
Been Hung over
Discovered Antowine Dobson
Discovered Shabi 2 the Sun
Discovered WHATTHEBUCK SHOW
Discovered Phylisang Pinoy
Discoverd Jaybooed
Attempted Chrono trigger for the first time
Played killer instinct many times
Discovered Tispy in this club played in many times
Made Sinigang
Made Adobo
Made Stuff Bell peppers
Gotten free food many times
Been to a gay bar with my couisn
Given directions while being drunk
Went to the beach at night
Had a beer on the beach
Had road rage many times
Gotten into fight
Been To San Diegos first Anime convention
Had my first real job
Went to the fashion district in downtown LA
Had a hotdog off the Street
Went to West Hollywood on Halloween
Had pho many times
Ramen a few
Had some sushi
Went to a christmas party
Went to ladies night
Saw the black swan
Saw Scott pilgram
Read a book called fast food nation
Read a book called day of the loucust
Met many people from online
Had a date with a vietnamese guy
Been to little toyko for the very first time
Went to the cheesecake factory
Stayed home on my birthday because I was broke and later got invited to go bowling
Applied for more jobs
Given Comic-Con goodie bags
Watched peach girl
Watched justice Leauge
Watched school days
Listenend to karsh kale when I'm down.
Blew out my car stero
Started a cookbook
Wrote more poems
Did an open mic
I feared of failing a class
Had a Crush
Recived a special book from a friend
Thought about the past many times
Have made friends that are old enough to be my parents.\
Rode the trolley
Got a Gift card to ross
Went out on black friday
Finally got a new laptop
Welcomed 3 new babys into the world
There for my best friends baby
Meet new girl friends of my brothers
Drove to a gated community
Found myself owning some great knives
Still having peoples backs
Got more fans of my cooking
Fought with roomates for little things
Discovered a new wine
Been Late on my rent
Met a nice lady who knows how to do good hair
Asked many questions
Payed attention to the news
Said many times "I hate being confused"
Cried many days and many nights
Devloped some close relationships with people
Played tekken
Seen the Tekken movie
Was Given a bag of chronas
Went to glendale
Tried rice krispy treats made out of captain crunch
I have ate breakfast food and called it my lunch
Had mexican candy
And baja fresh for the first
meet nieghbors who own a N 64
ordered on ebay
discovered PWI
Dsicovered Second Life
TBC...
I know this is late but here goes the list.
I went to disneyland
Drove to anihiem
Went to Comic-Con
Started the Keep comic con in san diego page
Been interviewd with new stations
Met someone from wescoin
Did an actual cosplay
Got into my 2 favorite pannels
Went to ventura beach
Been to a Train grave yeard
Discoverd and listened to pleasure principle by janet jackson many times
Sent a love note
Driven to hollywood
Went to africa week
Been drunk
Been Hung over
Discovered Antowine Dobson
Discovered Shabi 2 the Sun
Discovered WHATTHEBUCK SHOW
Discovered Phylisang Pinoy
Discoverd Jaybooed
Attempted Chrono trigger for the first time
Played killer instinct many times
Discovered Tispy in this club played in many times
Made Sinigang
Made Adobo
Made Stuff Bell peppers
Gotten free food many times
Been to a gay bar with my couisn
Given directions while being drunk
Went to the beach at night
Had a beer on the beach
Had road rage many times
Gotten into fight
Been To San Diegos first Anime convention
Had my first real job
Went to the fashion district in downtown LA
Had a hotdog off the Street
Went to West Hollywood on Halloween
Had pho many times
Ramen a few
Had some sushi
Went to a christmas party
Went to ladies night
Saw the black swan
Saw Scott pilgram
Read a book called fast food nation
Read a book called day of the loucust
Met many people from online
Had a date with a vietnamese guy
Been to little toyko for the very first time
Went to the cheesecake factory
Stayed home on my birthday because I was broke and later got invited to go bowling
Applied for more jobs
Given Comic-Con goodie bags
Watched peach girl
Watched justice Leauge
Watched school days
Listenend to karsh kale when I'm down.
Blew out my car stero
Started a cookbook
Wrote more poems
Did an open mic
I feared of failing a class
Had a Crush
Recived a special book from a friend
Thought about the past many times
Have made friends that are old enough to be my parents.\
Rode the trolley
Got a Gift card to ross
Went out on black friday
Finally got a new laptop
Welcomed 3 new babys into the world
There for my best friends baby
Meet new girl friends of my brothers
Drove to a gated community
Found myself owning some great knives
Still having peoples backs
Got more fans of my cooking
Fought with roomates for little things
Discovered a new wine
Been Late on my rent
Met a nice lady who knows how to do good hair
Asked many questions
Payed attention to the news
Said many times "I hate being confused"
Cried many days and many nights
Devloped some close relationships with people
Played tekken
Seen the Tekken movie
Was Given a bag of chronas
Went to glendale
Tried rice krispy treats made out of captain crunch
I have ate breakfast food and called it my lunch
Had mexican candy
And baja fresh for the first
meet nieghbors who own a N 64
ordered on ebay
discovered PWI
Dsicovered Second Life
TBC...
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