Nicole V. Wilson 10 year death annerversy

.by Rhiana Wilson on Thursday, December 2, 2010 at 8:50am.

Today Marks the 10 year anniversary of my aunts death. I cant believe it's been this long. 10 years ago marked a death of a beautiful intelligent woman. She had an ultimate love for God and a passion for education. She died at 29 years old of a liver disease. She would have been about 38 or 39 this year if she still were alive. I wonder what kind of direction my family would have been into today. Especially the children or are now growing into adults and finding their own paths. The only thing I have that she has ever given to me was an Egyptian bracelet. Which took me years to get back. This woman traveled countries to explore some of her greatest desires. According to everyone in my family she was a well respected woman and goal oriented. I wonder if she were to still be alive today, if that would have made some kind of impact over many decisions in recent years. I'm not sure to be honest.



The night she died seemed like an ordinary night. My cousin was at a party my uncle was over at the house and my other cousins and I were playing power stone. My uncle game into the room everyone thought he was trying to bother us. Then he said, “Aunt Nikki died”. Everyone broke down in a state of sorrow and confusion. People wept the night away. I was the only one who didn't break down and cry I think I may have had two tears but the death didn't really impact me at all. That night my brothers pregnant girlfriend called my cousin at the party and told her the news. Everyone heard her freaking out on the phone. So we went to go and get her. That long drive to the party was hearing the Chronic 2001 album. The song that I remembered hearing the most was. “whats the difference between me and you”? My cousin cried so hard that night I have never seen her that sad before.



Prior to her death. I remember many days and night spending time in the Keiser perminente hospital on sunset blvd.. I was in the hospital so much I knew my entire away around the place. Till this day, I'm not exactly sure to why my grandmother brought me to the hospital with her over and over gain. While she was laying there to her death in that hospital bed, I never felt sad or cried a single tear. I do remember many days where the sun was shining inside of her window so bright. I don't think I remember being there on a rainy or gloomy day. My aunt never acted as she was dying she always kept the smile on her face and carried on a normal conversation. If anything it seemed as if more life came out of her as her body weakened by the day.



To be honest, I don't have very many memories of her. One I remember walking up to the Muslim church with her and she made me a hijab and I wore it. I asked her so many questions the biggest question I remembered asking was “why are then men and women in separate places?” She explained it to me and I forgot what she told me. I remember screaming out side because I saw a June Bug. She told me to calm down and that I shouldn’t be afraid because it's a creature of god. I remember my cousin and I being at her house we looked up will smith on the computer and she made garlic bread out of hot dog buns. I remember her giving us the bracelets before we went to Oregon. That's It..



All of the children in the family had some kind of special relationships and a list of memories with her. I wonder why I didn't get to see her a much as the other children or got to spend time. I would say that they are lucky to get to know such a person and have such memories. Years have gone by since her death and my cousins can always share a story or some kind of memory with her. Maybe that’s why I wasn't so hard hit about her death as everyone else. But I still miss her and wonder how life and the family would have been especially the children of the family. Even my younger brother and sister got to know her better.



One thing that bothers me about her death is how my grandmother keeps getting upset over it. Sometimes I wish that she was better. A person can never rest in peace in your eyes unless unless you learn to come with peace with god and yourself. I may have not have had someone close to me die yet. But I do understand where she is coming from. I hope one day she and others will find peace with god about her death.



Aunt Nikki I love you and I miss you. May you rest in peace in paradise.

-Rhi

.